Crushes REALLY crush.

So let's see: you like a guy that your friend likes. Awesome right? (say no.) So you keep quiet about this little crush. And then your friend starts liking this other guy so you start being more forward with him and finally tell her the truth: you've liked him since [insert whenever]. And so with that off your chest, you tell everyone and everyone tries to get you guys together. (Great, right?) But then suddenly your friend tells you: he's known for months that you liked him.


And this is the part where I'm at.
All of this has happened. And all I know? I want to get over him. NOW. >:(
But....should I stay as his friend? I know he knows but he doesn't know that I know. So...stay as friend? Or pretend he doesn't exist.

Man...why is love so confusing? >________<

Mannn...I had just recently remembered about this blog. Haha sorry? Well anyways, I just checked the entire history of pageviews....not so pretty. 47. 47 PAGEVIEWS. I'm really sad now :( 


But anyways, life's been okay. I've been kinda stressed out because, that's what junior years does to you doesn't it? I kinda got a bad score on the SAT and I gots to take it again in June!! So...any study tips? I really am bad at the SAT in general. So anyways, it's kinda late here on the East Coast so I'm going to go to bed. 


Night~

Mothers.

So. There's this free Kpop Concert in New Jersey on October 9th. Wonderful right? for all those kpop fans everywhere. (I'M TOTALLY ONE OF THEM!!!!!) but my mother says, "Concerts are too dangerous." and me? i'm thinking, WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?! IF YOU NEVER LET ME GO TO ONE, YOU'RE ALWAYS GONNA SAY THAT. but the me outside, walks away, CALM. Why won't she even let me go?! She's being such a bitch right now. My dad's totally okay with it, but my mom? NO. I won't let you go. 

Most people go to concerts a lot! And this is the ONLY one I've asked to go to. Sure it's in New Jersey, but this is a ONE IN A LIFETIME CHANCE, for me and my friends. She's only been to one concert and she fainted right when she got in there. So I don't think she can say anything about concerts right now. I'm like super pissed and ranting but this is irritating me to NO end. 

I feel like this is one of the reasons why most teenagers hate their parents: they say NO a lot. How is going to a CONCERT dangerous? I understand that it's really far away (psh only 4 hours) but still, she should know how much this means to me. She knows how much kpop i listen to, (bad idea getting me that dock now huh?) but from my point of view it's really unfair. 

First reason: me and my friends have this thing planned out: my friend's mom is going to drive us to new jersey and we'll be back in time for school, so it wouldn't be a big deal.

Second reason: Kpop is my LIFE. It's like my drug or something. In a good way. But it's really important to me. 

Third reason: She knows I'm mature enough to go to a concert, and it's not like we're not going to be total freaks when we get there. My friends mom is going to supervise us.

So I honestly think, this is just her being a bitch. And honestly, this is why most teenagers hate their parents: they just say NO all the time.  

Wow~~

Wow...I just checked the stats for this blog...and they weren't pretty.
Sorry for not really writing on the blog lately...school's been a bitch. Especially junior year. I mean why does the system make us choose our futures THIS early? Sometimes it takes people YEARS to find themselves. In English class this week we read this article called "Against School" and it really opened my eyes to something new. And now that I really notice it....school makes us into mindless zombies to corporate businesses. It's quite...not fun. We are directed by the direction of these big companies and I can't even deny that I'm being directed by them either..

Look at us teenagers right now: most of us have cellphones. most of us have iPods if we can afford it. we all think that the world that we live in right now......is quite normal. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if we lived in times before without any of this. Sometimes I read historical fiction and I'm just like.....what would it be like if we lived in that time? I wonder about Anne Boleyn, if she really was guilty of adultery or if King Henry the Eighth just wanted her dead because she couldn't bear a male heir. It makes me think about all these awful things King Henry the Eighth did because he was scared of losing his throne? or if he didn't really give a damn about the things that he did. But I don't want to get into that. Because...the world that we live in? I feel like it's all a illusion. It's just weird. But like my friend says: Being weird is awesome. Because if we weren't? We wouldn't have the life that we have right now :)

But I should get back to my book (ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST! wonderful, no? XD)
So I'll try to update more often...BYE PEEPS :)

hey :)

hey I finally got a chance to write something here :)
and I have to say ..I'm not a good writer and hope you guys
like ''Meanings'' :)

yeah..I just got back from Taiwan and it was funn
I had a lot of fun there.
you have no idea what AMAZING things happened when I was in Taiwan :P
anyways..IT WAS FUN !!!
and I REALLY wanna stay there but my friends here want me to come back
and for some reasons I gotta come back :)
During my trip, me and my friends did lots of interesting things together
and we also took a lot of pics in order to record our great life :)
by the way, I have a good mom, dad, and brother ;)
because they are so good!!!!!!
they are my best supporters FOREVER :)
I love them <3
and love my friends too <3

and yea I would like to share my awesome life with everyone
I also need someone to support me and listen to me :)
well..I know I cant write something good to share
but I'll try my best :)
haha and that's it :)))))

Love~

It's such a crazy thing, no? It can drive you to near insanity and yet...it keeps you from going that far. 

I was watching The Nine Lives of Chloe King tonight..and I am a Alek fan. I'm not gonna lie. I really want Chloe to end up with him. Not because they're both Mai but because he REALLY cares about Chloe. I mean Brian's nice BUT so far...him and Chloe can't really kiss...unless he wants to die..BUT NOBODY WANTS THAT RIGHT?! And even so, I get the feeling that if Alek and Chloe don't end up together...the show's gonna lose a lot of popularity >< Because a LOT of girls want them to end up together... just saying :) 

According to dictionary.com the definition of love is: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. I liked a boy once. And in the end...he broke my heart. But I'm glad he did. Otherwise, I would have made it a HUGE deal in high school. (I'm not gonna lie...i'm a HUGE drama queen..haha ^^) But if my heart hadn't been broken...I wouldn't be the girl that I am today. I know that love is a hard thing. You fall in and out of love a lot in your life and you probably won't ever stop...even if you are married. I'm not saying cheating in a marriage is a GOOD thing..(because I totally believe that it isn't) but are you ever gonna stop loving your mother or father? You may hate them when you're a teenager..but that's what I mean when I say you're gonna fall in and out of love a lot in your lifetime. 

And to all of those who live in the US: We have so many ways of interacting to other people..be it the internet, a phone, just talking and ANYTHING. But make sure that person your talking to is safe.....WOULDN'T WANT ANYTHING TO HAPPEN RIGHT?! :) 

I'm gonna go relax a bit in my room~ 

Night loves :)

hey there